Depression and Anxiety,  Life,  Top Story

Find Yourself

We live in times when people who want to build and maintain a certain social status must also breed their digital twins (slices from their lives on Instagram, what they follow on Facebook etc.). For some people it is easy, others are struggling with it, because the virtual world does not go hand in hand with their natural setting. And these twins (not only through social media) are gaining momentum in importance. In the light of all sorts of celebrities, idols, and life coaches who tell you directly or indirectly how you should live, what a full life means, we are bending and transforming our essence to fulfill those ideas. But what if these ideas aren’t in line with our internal settings? What if the society only taught us what we should want from life? It’s like advertising… its job is to convince you that you really need what it promotes. Not only do you need it … you desperately want it. And at that moment there may be a split. Spiritual injury. Departing from the natural path that belongs to each of us. And the soul can respond to it in different ways.

I do not want to say that today’s society is responsible for all the depressed people, but I think it would be a good idea to think about how external manipulation and continuous integration affect us and how we can be intellectually and spiritually mutilated. Make the bird just walk the earth and let it forget that it has functional wings – it will internally termented by it, even if it doesn’t know anymore that it can fly. Convince the fish that there is nothing interesting about ordinary swimming, that everyone is walking along the shore and it’s great – make it act outside it‘s own nature and it will never find inner harmony, inner peace.

Harmony and inner peace – I don’t think people get that much. I think that it is something people often don’t even know they should get. And to get it, to work on it, they must first know themselves … really get to know themslelves. Finding out if they happen to be fish, what nonsensically walks on dry land, if they happen to be birds that have forgotten that they can fly. You can be a successful manager who makes a lot of money and has an expensive sports car and a big house, because it’s really cool to have an expensive sports car and a big house … but what if you don’t really need any of that? What if you aren’t really the lawyer that your mother always wanted you to be, the lawyer you eventually became … what if you were born with the hands of a carpenter who will never find their true meaning, because instead of working with wood these hands write court speeches?

I think that depression can be avoided even so, when one starts to know oneself, when he begins to listen to himself and finds out who he really is. When he finds out who he is and will be at peace with it. It can identify its shortcomings and work on them, but it should not bend according to what society determines. When a boy likes a girl who tells him that she likes blue-eyed and long-haired guys playing the guitar, while the boy has short hair, brown eyes and plays no musical instrument, he can grow his hair, learn to play the guitar, even if he doesn’t like it, but it’s hard to change the color of his eyes … but instead, he should simply ask himself if the girl is right for him at all.

Know yourself, be yourself, be honest with yourself. Certainly, sometimes there is a need to compromise and have humility in your life, but set limits to those compromises – not go beyond and deny the essence of your unique self. Find yourself, find your way and follow that path.

30 Comments

  • Alblue

    Thank you for telling this story. At one point, I was ‘lost’ and didn’t know who am I and what I need to do. It’s a personal matter, but finding myself in the right place is the key. Meditation and a lot of lone time can help to find ‘my identity’, along with some research. I agree that depression and anxiety can be caused by not knowing yourself, because I’ve been there. I hope ‘lost’ people can find and learn to love themselves, so they can avoid depression.

  • Josh

    I honestly struggle with creating an identity for myself online as it doesn’t exactly line up with how I am as a person. I’m about building relationships and enjoying talking to people face to face, and I find it hard to do in an online setting.

    And while I, like everyone else, feels some depression from time to time I definitely feel a lot of this has to do with not knowing what I’m supposed to do with my life. Do you have any tips on how to figure this out?

    • admin

      Hi Josh, as ALBLUE already mentioned in his comment, meditation and spending some time alone is a good way to learn more about yourself… I also want to try Darkness Therapy some day, could be interesting…when I do I’ll for sure share my impressions with all of you on this site 😉 

  • Todd Matthews

    I’ve come to realize that inner peace comes unique to the individual. What I find as peaceful might not work for someone else, yet our society tells us that if we’re not living in constant debt with a nice house, nice car, and all sorts of fancy gadgets, we’re unsuccessful. 

    It’s such a lie driven by society. While I like nice things, going borderline bankrupt to achieve them just isn’t worth it. Sadly, there are people who do think this way and while some achieve such status while living in massive debt, others are unable to and live a life of envy and depression.

    We all know what we want in this life and if we didn’t have mass media telling us what we “need,” depression, envy, jealousy, and other negative traits would decline. We would all have our own unique desires without an overlord or overlords hundreds if not thousands of miles away telling us what we should have and what we should want. 

  • jpaliskis

    Hello,

    When did I start to read an article I thought: digital twins? What is it? Then I thought, every person has a digital twin just not everybody accepts that or even don’t know ( or don’t think about it).  You right, many people think about material things: cars, houses, clothes, and compete with each other who have a better house or clothes.

    And you right again, we need to find harmony and peace to ourselves, then we can feel we are real people from inside to outside. I would never be a hairdresser because I am a cook but many people do what they don’t like to do ( bigger money).

    People who have depression need more doctors care at first than look for digital twins ( just my opinion).  Don’t you think so? Anyway, your article is bright, peaceful, easy to read and interesting. Thanks for the good article.

  • Mark

    This is interesting to me, because I tend to avoid society more than most. This is largely due to the exactly the manipulation you mentioned. Everywhere you go, you’ll find the latest trendy messages, suggesting how you should be living. Political correctness itself is designed to shame you for stepping outside the lines drawn by the powers that be. The movies we watch, the music we listen to, the tv shows, the social norms taught in schools, etc., all push society in whatever direction they desire.

    I’ve found that the best way to be true to my own self is to ignore all of that, while focusing solely on my work. As a writer myself, I can’t help but notice the moral behind each story line out there. Once you grasp that, you’ll never see “entertainment” the same way again. Especially if you can’t relate to the moral they’re pushing.

    Thanks for sharing! Lots of food for thought, here.

    • KC

      Amen Brother! I am what I am and that’s all that I am. If “they” don’t like it, I don’t give a…care. 🙂

  • Lee

    I am very thankful that I didn’t grow up in the modern digital age. I feel when it comes to self awareness, real life priorities, and a sense that there is something bigger than what a person is, today’s generation is at a great disadvantage as opposed to earlier generations. Depression has always been around but the current generation seems to be less prepared to deal with you.

  • Mariana

    Hello, 

    Thank you for writing this insightful post and open up people’s mind about these issues, depression, finding oneself and the society’s pressure. I agree with you that sometimes what society imposes you may be a reason why some people are going through hard times, but I hope these people find their way by learning, reading things like this post and find what they want their path to be. I know it’s difficult and probably no one knows exactly what they want, and it’s really difficult to move over this kind of though situation. 

    It’s necessary that people can have inner peace and I hope I can learn about this through your website!

  • June13

    So many in today’s society are afflicted with spiritual dissonance and emotional incongruence.

    Thanks for the timely reminder to stay true to who we really are.

    How do you feel about meditation? Do you think there is an over-reliance on therapy and therapists nowadays, instead of  embarking on our own spiritual awakening?

    • admin

      I am certainly for meditation, I practice it myself to connect with my subconsciousness, which in result already knows the answers to all questions … it is consciousness and external influences that distract us. So yes, definitely practice meditation!

  • Fahim Shahriar

    Thanks for such a thoughtful article. In our life finding peace within ourselves is very important. And for that, we need to know ourselves well. Ancient philosopher Socrates said it a long time ago. I realized that we are mostly affected by the external factors around us. And these factors disturb in our mental peace. In order to get rid of external factors, we can try contemplation to concentrate more on our inner-selves. 

  • Edwin Bernard

    I feel for those who are not able to adapt to the connected world we live in. When I was in High School, long before the internet, we studied a novel in English class written by E. M. Forrester called The Machine Stops. It was a world where the environment became toxic so all of humanity had to live underground. And the main mode of communication was using computers with large screens. E.M. Forrester definitely was thinking way ahead of his time. 

    The lives he painted, were uncannily related to what has happened today. Without the going underground part. But who knows, if the environment goes south that may yet happen. 

    You used the analogy of a bird that used to fly, representing the days before the Internet, to only walking on land, representing the days of the Internet. And the same fort fish. 

    I look at this differently. I feel like a cat that only walked in the days before the Internet, to a cat that can now fly as well, after the Internet. However I did get your point that some individuals who have been trained in using their hands to make furniture now have to learn other ways to use those same hands. 

    Humans have evolved over time because our brains help us adapt to our changing circumstances. Definitely, there will be casualties along the way. There always have and always will. The challenge is how can those of us who can adapt help those who are truly struggling to find themselves. 

    • admin

      Hello Edwin, thank you for the really rich commentary, I haven’t known the book so far, probably would be worth reading, thank you for the tip The truth is that the world is changing fast now, faster than we may realize, the motto “the future is now” is more relevant than ever … and about the life in the underground, I’ve read something about similar projects being invent to solve overcrowding and overall to save surface space. Some sci-fi are closer to reality than we think, and several times the futuristic visions have been confirmed (P.K. Dick, A.C. Clark, …).

  • Miss J

    This is definitely a reality check for me, someone who has constantly struggled to find and stay empowered. I love how you describe the digital twin, it really speaks volumes and reminds me- its not always as it seems. I agree with you about inner peace and harmony, definitely think we as a society struggle to reach and maintain this state of mind. Thanks for the gentle reminder, I love real talk like this! xox

  • Rana

    Hi

    This is a great informative and educative article with lots of information about depression and anxiety. After reading your article, I got an idea about this topic. I agree with you because these two issues greatly affect human life. We always think of life as trivial but do not try to make life right. To be happy in life is very important to be positive. Your article is very important, who is suffering from depression.

    Thank you so much for sharing such informative articles.

  • supportcme

    Beautiful article, I really like this article and I really learned a lot from this article. I think that self-love is the best love and first we need to accept ourselves and live life as we wanted to live. I hope that this article can change a lot of people mindset and gives them clear information about life. I enjoyed reading this article.

    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful lesson about a life

  • Success Business Online

    I agree with this post of finding your true self in the ever changing world.

    Just like mentioned in the article , harmony and inner peace are unseen elements that many people do have. 

    It has nothing to do with all the material possessions that one has. You can be the  successful manager who makes a lot of money , owns an expensive sports car and a big house.  But all these materials stuff do not have much value to your life, neither does it have the ability to provide you with harmony and real peace.

    Understanding ourselves and being honest with what what want is a good way to have humility with our life.  This is an interesting article that provokes our inner thought to look into our true self.

    Thank you for sharing!

  • smctee

    Your words ring so true in today’s society.  There is an enormous amount of pressure to present your “digital twin” in a certain way while still having to live in the real world.  Then in the real world, there is pressure to live up to what other people think you should do professionally and personally (have kids, earn more money, own a home, lease a fancy car, etc.).  

    One thing that I have found help me center my being is minimalism.  I worked for years acquiring more and more things.  One day I woke up with all kinds of anxiety about the things around me.  The more you have, the more you have to work at maintaining it. 

    Do you have any experience with minimalism or other methods of dealing with the materialism that the world pushes as a priority?

    • admin

      In fact, I have similar materialism experiences … one sentence from Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club got stuck in my mind: “The things you own then own you.” It’s simple and at the same time absolutely fitting but most people don’t realize it. Over time, I realize that you don’t really need much to live with … just a place where you feel at home, things that bring comfort to you … we get a lot of things just to satisfy our egos.

  • Babsie Wagner

    It’s just like you said, twins.  I feel like my friend, who suffers from chronic depression, is trying to be herself, but she’s lost in what her children think of her and is always trying to fit into some “mommy mold” they’ve created for her that she just can never quite squeeze into.  Parts of her (the parts I love, actually) are always spilling out and disappointing them, which in turn makes her feel like she’s somehow flawed.  Honestly, they are the ones that are flawed, perfectionist judges who think they are above perfect and she should be also.  It’s so disheartening, and I don’t know how to help her to see her beauty and that she just has to be herself and stop worrying about what they think of her.  I hate when she stifles the fun and interesting parts of herself because they don’t approve.

  • Pentrental

    I agree with your post and applaud you for writing it. Social media can be a cause of depression for some and a instrument of vanity for others. Advice for those who might be depressed by social media would be to stay away from it! There are much better ways to spend time like reading a book, traveling, exploring outside, working out, writing a blog post, etc. I agree that it starts with the self. Is social media an addiction? Maybe. It’s the idea perhaps of not wanting to miss out on anything. Thank you for a positive message here. I’m looking forward to reading more.

    • admin

      I believe that social media addiction may arise at some point … in any case, many people will easily fall for the belief that their social media activity is so important that it puts it is being put above real physical activities … and both body and mind are wasting away. But todays world is like that and I suppose it will still escalate.

  • Stella

    The very critical thing to do is the ability study ones self. Doing that will make us scape through the awful emotional boundage. Alot of people who find it very difficult to study themselves usually compare their life with those in virtual world. There inability to meet up with socal status demand ended up being depressed because they thought they are living a forsaken life. This shouldn’t be. There’s this qoute that says ‘cut your cloth according to your size. With that you will know peace and find your self.  

    This is an inspiring review. Thanks for sharing.

  • Jay

    A lot of us live a life that has been influenced or shaped by others. Don’t get me wrong there are times when this can be a good thing but most of the time this can affect our core beings which would in turn make us not to be in tune with our lives.

    This is the type of life most of us live and we become so used to it that it becomes part of who we are. I think we all need to look closely into our lives to see if we are actually living someone else’s life or if our lives are directly a result of our own actions.

Leave a Reply to Fahim Shahriar Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *